Don't Be Bitter, Be Better - Part Four

VICTORY

It’s been almost a year and a half later. I’ve been being fully committed and cooperative. I finished my services and kept all my visits with my children supervised, unsupervised and overnight. I was at every court hearing. A court hearing was in June, August then November and I still was not reunited with my children.

February 14, 2018, a total of 14 months after remand and about 10 months later after services was finished, God gave me the victory!!!

The judge released Zahir into my care and I am now reunited with my oldest having full custody and have joint custody, both physical and legal for my youngest and he will finish school in Pennsylvania and will be reunited with us in June.

There are many who I’m sure are in my shoes right now, feeling alone, confused, doubting yourself as a parent. Whether you are guilty or not, maybe you thought like me it was the best decision at the time. Maybe you did make poor choices and had no one there to be your support system or steer you in the right direction. Now you’re left with having to deal with the challenges of getting and completing services and being separated from your children. Once our children were taken away, completing the services seem to be the most important thing to accomplish but seems like the hardest. So ACS comes in and takes over your life with a plan, a plan that sometimes is not always beneficial to your present circumstance. My response to you is Don’t give up! Don’t allow what you are going through to dictate your outcome. You can overcome! Forgive and Let go of the hurt that being separated from your children brings. Not being ruled by your emotions helps you stay strong, it helps you persevere. Being ruled by your emotions can lead to bitterness and leave you with clouded vision, unable to see hope ahead. You can never overcome anything if you can’t see clearly. Gather your thoughts, pull yourself together, see where you went wrong and where you could’ve done better even if separation from your children wasn’t deserving. Discover your strengths as well as your weakness so you can help someone else out.

It’s all about your perspective!

I’m not bitter, I’m better!

At one point, I had got so emotional and just drained in all aspects of life that I just wanted to give up because of the way the system labels and makes you feel like you’re a failure. But, Guess what? I couldn’t, I couldn’t give up! You want to know why?, because I wouldn’t be able to encourage YOU and give YOU hope that YOU too can make it.

I’ve learned many lessons and most of all it opened my eyes to the greatness that was on the inside of me. It’s awesome to know that you can let stuff go and forgive those that took part in your affliction. Remember you have a voice! Use it! Your voice and story can implement change! But first, you have to overcome and not give up until you do! Being a voice that will implement and bring about change is what Martin Luther King Jr., Rosa Parks and countless others have done and we see even today, the favorable results that it brought us.

I thank God for the favor and support I received from my lawyer and Forestdale foster care agency. I am a foster parent with this agency. I have a good report with them since 2011. They’ve been in my home in Laurelton on a weekly basis to check on my nieces when they were in my care for a period of time. But if I go deeper than that when I was in foster care Forestdale was the agency I went to as a child, now unfortunately my children were too.

Forestdale knew me on a different scale than those of the system (ACS and the judge) that was just speculating and making wrong judgments of me. Forestdale knew me and because I remained who I was they supported in helping with the services by combining the family sessions with the individual sessions Zahir had so I wouldn’t have to pay. Forestdale and my lawyer always made it their business to call and check on me. They were committed since day one to reuniting me with my children.