From Broken To Blessed

Being physically and emotionally abused as a child is always devastating. It creates a feeling of being unwanted and uncertainty. A feeling of “maybe I’m not good enough to be loved”. As a child, I was abused by my biological father physically and emotionally. He would beat me and my brother for no reason at all. I would often wonder what I did to deserve that kind of hatred. The abuse became worse and he started to abuse my mother as well. He would accuse her of cheating on him when we could come in at night from church. There were times in my childhood where I contemplated killing my own father just to escape the abuse. God said not so and delivered us from the situation.

Fast forward to age 17. After years of telling myself I will never date or get married out of fear of having a repeat of my childhood, I finally decided to give love a try. What could it hurt right? I decided to date my best friend and fell in love with him rather quickly. That lasted for 2 months. After the break up, my life started to go downhill rather quickly.

Fast forward to age 19. I met this guy who I know I had no business with. I lost my virginity to him and it was not by my choosing. I told him no and I’m not that kind of woman but that was not an acceptable answer to him. He tried to kill me. Ended up cutting part of my nose with a butcher knife but I was able to get away thanks be to God. After that, I was completely broken. I felt like that is what I deserved and no one would ever love me after that. After that, I went from man to man looking for love in all the wrong places. Whoever showed me a little attention whether they were single, married or in a relationship I gave them myself. I knew better than that because I was raised in the church, but at that point I just didn’t care anymore. Heart break after heart break I was tired of trying. I was looking for a love that only God could fulfill and I knew it. I rededicated my life to the Lord and decided the next person I was in a relationship with, we would wait on God and do things his way not ours.

Fast forward to today. I’m now 28 years old, been with the same man for 4 years come November and September, and will we be married 2 years. We did it God’s way and waited until we were married and God has definitely blessed our marriage. We have faced some trials including two miscarriages, but I am happy to say we are 3 months pregnant! To God be the glory!

All of the trials I’ve faced and the situations I put myself in has shaped me into the person I am today, and has taught me to always follow God’s will instead of my own and I will truly be blessed!!

God bless!!