Broken To Become Unbreakable

Being physically and emotionally abused as a child had always made me question if love was even real. I was traumatized because the love that I so desperately needed and desired was dissolved by the pain that I was battling. Oftentimes I felt betrayed and unwanted by my biological mother and father and their absence made me feel like the streets and their drug addictive habits were more important then my existence. There were times in my childhood that I had wished I was dead and moments that I thought about taking my own life. I was secretly used to the addiction of abandonment, isolation, frustration, pain, torment and fear. However, I have learned that our character is most effectively shaped by adversity and it is through our struggles that we are strengthened to endure.

At the age of 15, I had already lost my virginity and as I was headed down the path of destruction and promiscuity of looking for love in all the wrong places. I felt so empty and the voids from within were eating at my very soul causing me to try and fix the things about myself that only Jesus specialized in. So by the age of 16 years old, I had already sold my soul to the street life of sex, money and drugs. My insecurities was my enemy and my flaws were my failures that held me in captivity of my past and blinded to my future. I was sadly used to discontinued relationships and being wanted by a man for what I had, but not for who I was. By the age of 18, my body had become my tool of power to get what I wanted. I literally prostituted my body for money, drugs, and whatever else I wanted and needed. Not even realizing that my sexual drive for the things of the world was being compromised for who God had created me to be. I had an identity crisis because who I was and who I was called to be were at war.

So still at the age of 18, I met this guy who I thought I was going to be with for the rest of my life and share a lifetime of memories with. After a few months of being and living with him he started beating and physically abusing me. Do you see the pattern? I thought that this was love because growing up my perception of love was pain so I accepted it. One day he beat me until my nose bled, spit in my face, dragged me by my hair, blacked both of my eye's and literally beat me to my knees. After that day, I never looked back and after already being in a relationship with him for an entire year I let him go and moved on with my life. By the time I turned 22 my life was a movie and the club and getting drunk until I passed out had became my new hobby. But who would have ever known that going to church on that Sunday morning after being out all night would change my entire life?

For every trial that we withstand and tribulation that we overcome, serves a greater purpose. The pivotal point in my life is what makes my testimony so powerful and great because this is when I decided in my heart to accept Jesus as my Lord and personal savior. The love that I was searching for I have found in Christ and the voids that I was trying to fill has been filled by His love and amazing grace.

Although nothing is perfect and life itself is not even guaranteed, I am now a one man woman - married and the Lord God is now using my story to evangelize to the broken and to set the captives free. I can humbly and honestly say that the ashes of insecurities, pain, betrayal and adversity that has made me beautiful and the glow of His glory shine like a ray of light. It was the fortitude that I possess by the grace of God to keep pushing, pressing, and praying despite the conditions of my circumstances that certifies me to be the overcomer that I am today.

God Bless You